The NSA

The NSA is a surveillance agency controlled by Elgioh and existing on an alternate time-looped Earth where it is always 2019. They spy on the world using top-of-the-line crappy budget smartphones. The company consisted of a 30-something nobody, a minimum wage worker named Francis, and two soulless husks in vaguely human form before it expanded to conquer the entire Earth.

Phones:

 * The Eavesdropper
 * Intentionally Garbage
 * Customers Are Stupid
 * Seriously You People Are Idiots
 * Don't Buy This Crap
 * Touching This Phone Makes You Blind
 * Already Broken
 * F*ck You: The Phone
 * F*ck You 2
 * F*ck You 3
 * Ye Olde F*cker
 * You're All Stupid for Buying This Phone, Seriously What Are You Thinking?
 * The Crappiest Smart Phone Ever
 * Don't Do It, This Phone Sucks
 * YOU'RE STUPID IF YOU BUY THIS PHONE
 * THE. ULTIMATE. PHONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Note: aside from The Eavesdropper and THE ULTIMATE PHONE, all models are identical to Intentionally Garbage, repackaged under a different name)

(People bought them by the gross regardless)

Operating Systems:

 * Data Harvester 9000

Profits
At the end of its life, the NSA had made 993 quadrillion dollars, had sold 34 quadrillion phones, and had captured the minds hearts of 8 billion servants fans.